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May 22 2018

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Does anyone else have that pipe dream job? The one you know will never happen, no mater how good you would be at it? It would just the too much money, or things you just don’t have, to make a start at it?

But still you’ve got it all planned out, you know how it would all work, you’ve thought out every problem you might face, and how you’d prepare and what the general day to day would consist of and all that.

But you’ll never get to do it so you go from excitedly adding new information to your plans to just being sad.

I pray that whoever reads this, God heals whatever is hurting you.





if you’re reading this

a lump sum of money is on the way to you

  • it happened today, damn that was like 3 days maybe?

It Works the money is on its way!

Need this.

Of course




As a customer, i think treating retail/fast food workers like human beings should be mandatory in order to use the service. You’re a dick? Sorry, eat somewhere else. You like to scream at cashiers? Sorry, shop somewhere else. There’s no excuse to treat humans like trash just because you’re angry.

Back in the 70’s or so when they actually gave a shit about their workers, this was a thing.

See: Unions, Purpose Of



i’m so sick of news articles that look like this 


and then you go in to look and you find it had a sample size of 40 

and then you’re like okay, what was the fantastic difference between these 40 people when sleeping with and without a dog

and the article is like

…so you get through it and you’re like you’re trying to tell me you think this is substantial in any capacity, this 40 sample size 3% difference ass bullshit??????????? you fucking shitforbrick bad at math fake ass science losers?

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I love how she almost drops it until she smells it and that flashbulb memory hits.

“Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real … Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

Margery Williams, The Velveteen Rabbit

Notice she says “who” it was and not “what” it was.

Im crying

sobbing and clutching my stuffed lion i have slept with nearly every night for 33 years. i can’t fathom being separated from him long enough to not recognize him on sight, but if you blindfolded me and held up things to smell, i’d know him just as quickly and as hard as she did.

Video link is broken so here it is on YouTube, and I was already sniffling but then I saw this in the comments:

“The teddy bear was given to Jessica’s mother as a baby shower gift. After a long life, the bear was no more than part of head and a torn apart body with no stuffing. After a month of research and scouring through 10,000 vintage teddy bears online, Jessica’s fiancee was finally able to obtain the missing pieces of the bear, and had have him brought back to life at the local Teddy Bear Hospital.“

So that’s why she didn’t recognize him – he’d been so damaged that they had to reconstruct him. And now I’m crying even harder.

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Someone on Reddit had a damn good point: the anti med crowd is very similar to the anti vaxx crowd. Some are poorly informed and respond well to calm, polite, dignified education. Others treat it like a religion and will never not think that meds are Big Pharma Conspiracies ™.

There’s similar dubious “science” behind each. The Church of Scientology is a major source of anti med propaganda “science”, and the anti vaxxers have Wakefield of course. There are also different degrees. Some think vaccines should be spread out or reduced, some think meds should be used only in special cases. Etc.

In the end though, it actually helps to know that these are basically anti vaxxers with a different paint job. I don’t mean that disparagingly. It’s just good to think of it that way I find. Idk why, but it does for me at least!

romanticizing mental illness is dangerous and misleading



Artsy depression: haunted eyes, good at art, emo hair and eyeliner on point

Actual Depression: bloodshot eyes, no longer trust themselves with pencils, has not showered in five days

Quirky OCD: organized books, clean room, color coordinated outfits

Actual OCD: Intrusive thoughts, flipping the light switch 8 times so you don’t stab your brother, picking holes in your skin

Cute eating disorders: Slim trim and beautiful, shyly refusing a second helping, dancer aesthetic

Actual eating disorders: Puffy cheeks and eroded teeth from excessive vomiting, hair growing over your freezing body and refusing to eat carrots because they’re too high in carbs

Adorable anxiety: just a smol bean, soft, must be protected from the world

Actual anxiety: crying so hard you throw up, shaking, losing sleep over a period after the “okay”

RPG PTSD: flashbacks, vietnam, u don’t know what i’ve been through kiddo

Actual PTSD: Buying your first pregnancy test at twelve, flinching at high fives, i can’t feel my hands where am I what year is it

Cartoon ADHD: look a squirrel, something shiny, fidgety loveable bufoon

Actual ADHD: rereading the same page over and over because it doesn’t make sense, hasn’t done the laundry in four months, hyperfocusing on a mushroom knowing you have work to do

stop making terrifying realities seem cute. it’s disrespectful for those of us who are actually struggling

Fucking preach.

if anyone in virginia can take in a cat, message me or send me an ask.


bee, a cat that used to be mine who i rehomed, needs a new home due to unforeseen circumstances! this is short notice so i won’t have much time to find her a new place, so if anyone can take her in asap that would be extremely helpful


she’s a female tortie-tabby mix, young adult (less than 5 years old), no health problems (although slightly chubby), moderately active, and not aggressive! she’ll do fine with other chill cats but she has not been acclimated to dogs, so you would wanna be experienced with that if you have a dog.

if i can’t find her a place within the next few days, i will almost definitely have to take her to a shelter, few of which in this area are no-kill, and those are usually completely full and appointment-only. i would try to keep her myself but as our lease is close to ending, our landlord is constantly here and we’re not allowed pets, and we could not hide the fact that we have her. she’s healthy so she’s extremely unlikely to be euthanized but it still would break my heart for there to even be a chance of that

i’m in virginia beach, i can travel to all of the hampton roads area pretty easily, and can work out a place as far as richmond or mayyyybe the DC area.

May 21 2018

About Executive Dysfunction; for neurotypical people









Friends, family members and loved ones of learning disabled and mentally ill people need to have a working knowledge of what Executive Dysfunction is, and respect the fact that it is a prominent feature of that person’s psychology and life.

Executive Dysfunction is best known as a symptom of autism and ADHD, but it also features in depression, anxiety disorders schizophrenia, OCD (which by the way is also an anxiety disorder), personality disorders; etc, a whole myriad of mental illnesses and disabilities can result in executive dysfunction.

Years ago when I was like 14 and had recently learned of my autism diagnosis, I watched a youtube interview between autistic people, and an autistic woman said something along these lines:

  • “Sometimes, a lightbulb will burn out, but I cannot change it. I have the physical capability to change the lightbulb, and I want to change the lightbulb, and I know I need to do it, but because of my autism I just don’t do it. So the lightbulb remains unchanged for weeks. Sometimes people have to change the lightbulb for me.”

When she said that I related so much, because constantly throughout my whole life I have wanted and needed to do things with my wanting and needing being akin to my spurring an extremely stubborn horse who refuses to move. For the first time I learned that I wasn’t just “lazy”, I had a condition that prevented me from doing things as easily as other people can, but unfortunately it took me years since then to understand that.

Imagine that you are a horserider, but your horse is entirely unwilling to move even if you want to move. You dig in your heels, you raise the reins, but the horse refuses to respond. Your wants and needs are the rider, and your executive functions (the parts of your mind responsible for getting things done) are the horse.

I think it’s incredibly dangerous for neurotypical loved ones to not understand, or be aware of, or respect executive dysfunction. Neurotypical can assume that we are just being lazy, careless, selfish or difficult, when in reality we want to do the thing but our brains prevent us from consistently and reliably doing the thing.

That misinterpretation can lead to toxic behavior and resentment on the part of the loved one, which will harm us emotionally and do us a lot of damage gradually over time.

That damage can take the form of internal self-criticism, complicating executive dysfunction even further and making it worse.

edited for easier reading!

I think about this a lot, because I have to.  In my own life, as a parent who struggles with executive dysfunction and yet has to teach a child basic life skills, it’s important to know my blind spots and learn to function around them.  He’s watching me and learning from my example, so I have to do my best to explain what I can’t always do, and try to do it anyway.

Executive function is such a fundamental and yet hidden trait.  It is in charge of reasoning, flexibility, problem solving, planning, and execution/prioritization of necessary steps in any action.

Each task is never one task.  Take changing the lightbulb - from beginning to end, it’s a series of steps that must be put in proper order:

  • Notice light bulb is burnt out.
  • Recognize that it can be fixed by putting in a new light bulb
  • Remember where new light bulbs are stored
  • Go to light bulb storage area
  • Select new one
  • Find stool or chair to stand on
  • Take out old bulb, put in new one
  • Screw in bulb
  • Replace chair or stool to previous spot
  • Throw away old bulb

That’s not even all of them, but it’s a good enough summary for now.  There are hidden stumbling blocks in every single step. 

  • A burnt out bulb may go unrecognized as a problem - there’s two other bulbs in the room, it’s a little dimmer, so what?  It might take all three burning out before you see it as a problem.
  • Maybe you forgot where the bulbs are, because it’s been a while.  Searching the house is a task you put off, because it’s messy/disorganized/big/you have other more pressing matters.  The bulb can wait.
  • You find the bulb storage, but you’re out of new ones.  You have to shop.  You’re busy, you put it off until the next time you shop, by which time you’ve forgotten you need a light bulb.  Repeat cycle.
  • You’ve been depressed for a while, or maybe you’re just a messy person.  A stack of important documents is on the chair you’d use to stand on to get to the bulb.  You know if you move those documents you’ll forget where they are, and it’s tax stuff/homework/your mom’s birthday card, and you can’t forget that.  The bulb gets put aside until you deal with those things.  But you don’t want to deal with them now, so the bulb waits.
  • Throwing out the bulb requires safe disposal so that you don’t break it and accidentally cut yourself, or someone else in your home.  You have no idea how to safely dispose of it.  You put off changing the bulb until you figure out what to do with the old one.

On and on and on.  Each step requires problem solving, prioritization, and reasoning.  These are the hidden processes that go on in our minds every single moment of every day.  Difficult tasks build up, compounding the problem of completing others, until each action requires ten more before you can solve the minor problem you started with.  Changing a light bulb ends in a night of doing your taxes.  Doing the dishes ends in standing in the dish soap aisle at the grocery story for a half hour trying to figure out which soap to buy for the dishwasher.

When a simple action requires the same effort from you as the most complex, abstract problem-solving…. to put it mildly, you’re fucked.  Every day tasks require exhausting mental gymnastics.

So, be kind to the person who can’t seem to change a light bulb.  There’s a lot that can stand in the way.

this is such a good addition to my post

Important info!

“Difficult tasks build up, compounding the problem of completing others, until each action requires ten more before you can solve the minor problem you started with. Changing a light bulb ends in a night of doing your taxes. Doing the dishes ends in standing in the dish soap aisle at the grocery story for a half hour trying to figure out which soap to buy for the dishwasher.”

I relate to this so hard.

The scariest part of executive function to me was the invisibility of it. I didn’t know about EF until I was in my 30s.

This lightbulb example hurt me as I read it. In my 20s all the light bulbs in my apartment burnt out. A friend came over one day and said… you have no light in here and simply replaced them.

I think a lot about that moment.

This post made me see that lightbulb moment not from a depression standpoint, which I usually see it from but from the difficulty of all the tasks required combined with my lack of organisation, need to move other objects to have somewhere to stand… oh the list of reasons why goes on and on.

Executive function freezes you mentally while you appear outwardly capable but just unwilling, lazy, bored and difficult.

The more you freeze, the more difficult the task can feel mentally until it becomes impossible to do.

Thank you for this post. ❤️

In first interview, Parkland teen who shielded classmates denies he's a 'hero'


This kid, Anthony Borges, took five bullets during the Parkland shooting, protecting his classmates. Amazingly he survived.

This is Manliness, protecting those in need.

He’s in the hospital and needs medical care. The bills are mounting fast.

If you wish to help his family:






i cant believe americans on tv really say rock paper scissors like???? its paper scissors rock omg do u irl americans actually say rock paper scissors????

rb this with whether u say paper scissors rock or rock paper scissors

me normally: linguistic differences are so interesting and cool! I love hearing different dialectal variations.

me, reading “paper, scissors, rock” with my own two eyeballs: the lord is testing me

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Why else did he hide this study?  It didn’t turn out like he wanted.

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Quite true.


He’s right.

Once again the media is to blame

A group that was created after the Columbine shooting called TAG (Threat Assessment Group) said the same thing after Columbine occurred. Stop paying what amounts to homage to the Dispicables who carry out these acts. It actually creates a following ia what they thought. One can actually right on tumblr see Fandoms devoted to Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold.





hope your pets stay healthy in 2017

I almost didn’t blog this and felt guilty

Not risking it

hope ya pets even healthier in 2018

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Reblog the 500,000 dollar written check from Seto Kaiba and money will come your way.

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The ultimate punishment (via /r/BlackPeopleTwitter)

58 terabytes!?

Good god, I think I’m gonna be sick

i wish it was easy to convey to those who don’t know computer language how big 58 terabytes is.

all i can tell you is that its a fucking lot.

Most internal computer hard drives I’ve seen have a maximum storage capacity of 1 Tb, this man has 58 of them.

I just know it’s “a lot,” like, comparable to a trillion. Seriously, feed this man to a hungry school of piranhas.

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